[TL] Toubousha 05 – Atsushi Side

Toubousha 05 – Atsushi side
逃暴 者 – アツシ編-

Release Date: 26th June 2013
Illustration: 佑元セイラ (Yuugen Seira)
Scenario: Chai ちゃい
PV: ドラマCD「逃暴者 ~アツシ編~」PV(試聴版) 
Official page: Ogawa Atsushi

Image

Tracklist:
01. Scene01 自殺の名所に行きたがる男 / Jisatsu no Meisho ni Ikitagaru Otoko / The man who wants to go to a famous suicide spot
02. Scene02 初対面で観光 / Shotaimen de Kankou/ Sight-seeing at the first meeting
03. Scene03 自由への憧れ / Jiyuu e no Akogare / Longing for freedom
04. Scene04 フラッシュが暴く正体 / Furasshu ga Abaku Shoutai / The flash reveals his true identity
05. Scene05 mike
06. Scene06 迷子ふたり / Maigo Futari / The lost two
07. HAPPY END ~ Scene07 本当の自己紹介 / Hontou no Jikoshoukai / The real self introduction
08. HAPPY END ~ Epilogue 小川篤司の『歌』 / Ogawa Atsushi no “Uta” / Ogawa Atsushi’s “music”
09. BAD END ~ Scene07 払わされる『ツケ』 / Harawasareru “tsuke” / The price he has to pay

Character name: Ogawa Atsushi
Seiyuu: Sakurai Takahiro

Track 01 – The man who wants to go to a famous suicide spot

Aa,hey!
I’m sorry for scaring you. I’m not someone suspicious… though that’s something a suspicious guy would say, isn’t it?
Um, my name is Ogawa Atsushi. Aaa, I’m not hitting on you! I’m not trying to fool you into buying anything either!
Uhm…are you alone now? Can I get just a bit of your time?
No, I’m really not hitting on you! If you do that, wouldn’t you usually do it in a place where there are more people and not in this deserted sight-seeing area?
Ah, but now’s not the time for that.
I’ll get a phone call in a little. I’m sorry for asking something so selfish, but wouldn’t you pretend to be my girlfriend then?
Ah, wait! I only need you to introduce yourself using a random name, so…
I just need to let the caller hear I’m with someone! Please!
Ah, my phone’s ringing! I’m really sorry! I’ll get it over with immediately, so….

*breathes in and out*

[01:36]
Hello…?

Hah…this should be OK…
I’m sorry! You really helped me! I was wondering what I should do because there’s no one around here even though it’s a sightseeing area.
Ah…my circumstances are a bit complicated…how should I say it…I have a lot going on…
Eh? Ah, it’s OK, it’s not much. Well, you’d be curious, wouldn’t you.
I’m also sorry for bothering you when you were spacing ou–no, when you were relaxing.

Excuse me, I would also like to bother you about something else. Aare you familiar with this area?
Oh, you have a guidebook! I wonder if it’s on it.
I…want to go to a place that’s said to be famous for the suicide attempts committed there. Do you know where it might be?

 

Toubousha. Atsushi side.

Track 02 – Sight-seeing at the first meeting.

Woops, are you OK? Be careful.
I’m sorry, it seems I made you worry.
It’s not like that, really! I have no intention to die!
I didn’t think you’d be that surprised.
Ah! Please don’t report me to the police or something! You seem like you’d do it, Onee-san.*1*

But I was lucky that our next destination was the same.
Well, in my case I didn’t really have something like a fixed destination.

Huh? Are you still doubting me? Do I look like I want to die that badly?

You too. is is all right for you to come with me? Although it helps me, I’m not really used to things like this.

Huuh? So you were supposed to come with someone else. Ahh, so she chose her boyfriend over you and cancelled in the last minute. What bad timing!
Friendship’s pretty much like that, for both men and women.
Aa…it seems you’re actually pretty depressed? I see, you were also lonely, Onee-san?
Ah…I was also…well, just a little. I helped helpless because I didn’t know what it means to do what you want to…

Huh? I? I think we’re about the same age…do I look older that much?
Oh, then I’m younger. I just turned 21 recently.
Is that so? I think that this outfit makes me look my age though…
My usual clothes are a different matter though.
Ah, no. I was talking to myself.

[02:20] *phone vibrates*

Ah…again?
Excuse me, I need to get this call.
Hello. I’m in the bus right now. It’ll inconvenience the people around, so I’m hanging up.
*sigh*
Huh? Oh, yes, it was the person who called before.
They’re really overprotective, right? I can’t keep up with them!
Well, if we talk about overprotectiveness, you’re the same. I think you’d be called a worrywart?

You’d usually ignore someone like me, right? because it’s a drag, isn’t it?
“Yeah”, you say…with such a straight face too.
Onee-san, you’re a pretty strict person, aren’t you?
Haha, even if you don’t get flustered and try to explain yourself, I know.
But you still couldn’t leave me alone. Right?

I take that back. You’re actually a kind person, aren’t you, Onee-san?

[04:10]
Huuh, so this is the Oowakudani *2*.
I heard there are many people who commit suicide here, so I thought there would be more trees and something like that.

Eh? Ah, that’s right. I’ll try not too say disturbing things here.
I don’t want to be scolded by the tourism association.

I plan to wander about this area. Do you want to come with me?
Oh…it sounds like I’m hitting on you after all.
Then, let’s go together.
It’s OK, I won’t follow you around persistently.

Ahh, this place is so nice. How should I say it, it looks remote from your everyday,
and even though the land is rugged and full of rocks and rising smoke, if you look farther, a magnificent natural scenery spreads out. It’s so realistic.
This is it. I really wanted to experience this kind of thing!
It’s not really like I was fixated on suicidal sights–uhm, on this kind of thing.
Anywhere would’ve been fine.
Anywhere’s fine if I can see a scenery different that usual.

It’s just that I was wondering what kind of place is that where someone who wants to die goes to; what kind of scenery does a person who’s cornered to the point of wanting to die seeks.
That kind of place seems like it’d have a peculiar feeling, doesn’t it?
I just wanted to feel that.

Ah…huh? The mood’s gotten kind of strange.
But isn’t it kind of surreal to think of a girl coming to this kind of place alone?
Although you weren’t planning to come alone. By any chance, did you go out of your way to come here for me?
I’m really not thinking about dying, so you know!
Though it’d be a lie if I said I never felt I wanted to do it.
Ah! Wait, wait! Don’t take it seriously!
Doesn’t everyone have that kind of moments? It’s not like I’m thinking about it seriously!
It’s just that when I’m busy, when I’m stuck with something or in moments like these, I think about it unconsciously…or something…

*sigh*sigh*
Heh, well, yeah. We just met so I’d be asking to much if I said I want you to trust me.
But if you got to know me, probably…!

[17:15]
*phone vibrates*
Ah, jeez!
Hello? Yeah… That’s all? Yeah…I know.
Yeah, we’re together.
Okay, wait.

Please say something. Just a word is okay!

Thanks.

I’ll be together with her for the whole trip. I have no intention of going back. Sorry.
Then I’m hanging up. You could at least…
I know. I really feel bad about this, but it’s impossible!
Bye!
*sigh*

Oh…I’m sorry for making you do that so suddenly. They don’t want me to be alone no matter what.
Yes…they also suspect me for the same thing as you do.
They won’t say it clearly, but they think I’m somehow worrying over too many things.
Sorry. Should we continue the sightseeing?
Ah…am I a bother by any chance? I can go by myself from here on, so…

Huh? Lunch? ah, is it that time already? Now I realize that I haven’t eaten anything since morning.
Yeah, then let’s stay together until there. It’s true, it may be difficult to have lunch by yourself in this kind of place.
Yeah. It’s okay with me. I don’t have any plans in particular.

Haha! No, it’s nothing. It suddenly seemed funny.
We just met today and we’re walking together sightseeing and making plans for lunch.
I was thinking the people around only see us as a couple on a trip.
Ah, I see. There’s also the possibility they’d think of us as siblings,huh?
Yeah. Don’t I look more like the older brother?
I’ve always been seen as older that I really am.
Um…I wonder why? If I were to say, probably because I seem composed, but I think that maybe because it was intentional…

Though I still have a hard time! Although I may not look it.
But I guess I’ve almost reached my limit!
Hahaha…

Track 03 – Longing for freedom

– Here is your food. thank you for the waiting.

Whoa, awesome! There’s something that looks like a Mondragora*3* in my morisoba *4*!
You don’t know it? It’s a root like plant that has the form of a human and it screams.
Heh? So this is wasabi! *5* Um…like this? Grating it… Ah! Awesome! It looks more like wasabi now!
Eh? Is that so? Isn’t it common sense? Though it’s my first time seeing it.
Okay! Then, I’ll eat!

My manners are good? What is that comment you’d hear from a teacher? My manager is really noisy about things like this.
Aa…a…uhm…yeah…someone from my workplace. Well, it doesn’t matter, does it?
Then, thank you for the food!
*slurps*coughs*

Ah, that surprised me. Ah? Yes, it seems he’s pretty popular…Mike…moderately.
Do you like him?
I see…of course..! He’s not that big of a deal anyway.
Right! More importantly, I still haven’t heard your name, right?
Eh? The name you used earlier was your real name? You’re so careless…
Uh, well, I’m the same. I was pretty impatient.

*phone vibrates*
Ah…what is it with them? It hasn’t even been an hour since the last call…Damn!
And with this…!

Heeh! I turned my phone off! Eh, it’s okay! They’re too much for calling so often on my long awaited holiday! It’s pretty much harassment!
But I wonder if they’ll really stop now.
Ah, no. I was talking to myself!
Eh, no. It’s not my family, it’s someone from my job.

Um…I involved you this much, so I should tell you a bit about the circumstances, don’t I?
A, it’s okay, it’s nothing much.
I…skipped work today. The person on the phone calls me repeatedly because they’re worried, but… work doesn’t progress if I’m not there, and I think they’re actually pretty agitated.
I think tomorrow it will turn into a mess. It may be the headline for the news! Or something! Hahaha!

*Sigh* but…I’m kind of tired…I’ve always thought that I was tired, but after doing my best just dragging my feet along, this morning I felt that something snapped.
When I woke up, my mind was all white…or rather, it was clear. I thought “huh? Aren’t I actually free? There’s actually nothing that I have and need to do, nothing that binds me and I can go wherever I like.” and then I somehow dizzily arrived here.
But tomorrow everything I accumulated until now may be gone until tomorrow. Everyone will be disappointed with me, they’ll sigh, get angry and they may leave me.
But this is to you just someone else’s problem, isn’t it?
Everything that was important to me is starting to look like a pebble, and now I can only think about myself.
Aa…no…I was thinking that I’ve just been saying things I needn’t have.
[04:30]
I’m probably more comfortable that I think I am. It’s been a long time since I’ve been so carefree. In terms of having free time too, but in my mood as well.

Yeah…I’m glad I came here after all. Thanks to that, I also met a kind Onee-san. Haha!
I…maybe I just wanted someone to listen to my complaints like this. I can’t say these to the people from my surroundings.
Maybe they wouldn’t mind me saying this to them, but I felt like I shouldn’t do it.
Maybe it’d have been better to tell them…Better than this mean betrayal.

Track 04 – The flash reveals his true identity

Ah, I ate so much!
Well, then , what should we do now?
It’s disappointing, but we should split up around here after all–
Ah…

I’m sorry, can we go somewhere else?
Oh… As I thought, that guy’s following us…
Eh? Ah, it’s nothing.
No. I’m right…it’s the guy who was in the cafeteria. I thought he’d left his bag in a strange place, but..
Tsk, where will he start writing from?
Um…I want to ask you something. I didn’t take off my glasses today, did I?
Yeah, I thought so. Thanks.

Then I guess it’s okay.
I’m sorry, can we walk a bit faster? If you want, you can grab on my arm.
It’s really not a good time to be seen**

Ah. If there’s a place where we could hide after we turn at that corner, please run to there.
I’m really sorry for asking you to do this so suddenly. I’ll tell you the reason later.
Don’t turn around. Walk naturally. After we turn…Now!

*running steps*
Go into that place*** ! Do it! Hurry!
Shh! Don’t move. Wait a bit longer.

[02:30]
Ah…he’s not coming after us… It shouldn’t have been just my imagination, but…
Ah, I’m sorry. Did it hurt? I’m sorry for pushing you like that.
It’s strange…
Ah!

*flashing cameras*
– Yes! It’s a scoop!
Atsushi: – Stop it!
– You’re Mike, right? I’ve been following you from your house!
Atsushi: – Stop it already!
– Damn! This guy!
Atsushi: – We’re going to run! grab my hand!
– Bastard! Remember this!

We’ll talk later. If I bite my tongue and can’t sing anymore, are you going to compensate me?
Ah! jeez, I’m the real one!
Yes, the song playing in the shop earlier was my song! I’m Mike.
If you got it, run already. I can’t afford getting caught today!

[03:50]
Haah…What an empty place. Sengokuhara *6*, was it? Well, I did say I wanted to go to a place surrounded by nature, but it’s more dreary than natural.
Though it’s convenient that there aren’t any people around.
Ah, it’s okay, you can speak now. I just didn’t want you to say anything unnecessary in the taxi.
I’ll have you stay with me the whole day today. It’d be trouble if I were to be found because of you.
Even if you say that…we just met earlier so there’s no way there’d be faith between us.
I’ll let you go when night comes. Where are you staying tonight? I’ll can at least take you there.
I give off a different impression? Ah, I guess it’s different.
I was being friendly before, I’m not pretending now.
But doesn’t Mike have this kind of image in society? Right, you didn’t know much about me.
Talk about me’s not important. let’s go.
I don’t have a destination, but it’s useless to stand around in this kind of place.
Yeah, i’m doing whatever I want. That’s right, I’m selfish. So what? This is how I’ve lived my life until now.
I don’t care if you have your own image of me and you get disappointed by yourself.
No matter how the people around me decorate me, I’m myself. I won’t change my way of living. I don’t want to change it. That why..
But I didn’t intend to run away like this. But my mind was a mess, I saw a white screen in front of me and I didn’t know what’s what.
I don’t know what I should do. But you know, I didn’t have any choice.

Track 05 – mike

It seems lot of cars pass by here, but no taxi does.
It’s off season?
Hm? I don’t know much about that stuff.
Where do we get if we keep walking straight? is there any shop around? You’ll be troubled if it gets dark in this bare place.
You don’t know? Didn’t you have a guidebook?
*sigh* Don’t say “oh!”. you’re unexpectedly pretty clumsy.
Forget what i said earlier, okay…? Like my complaints and all…
Shut up! it’s okay if you don’t get it.

[01:00]
Huh? What is it?
Don’t make such a strange sound out of the blue!
Hah? Tonight’s live performance? Why do you know something like that?
The person who you were supposed to come here today with…ah, that person was going to have a live concert date?
Huh.So in short, you were rejected because of me? My condolences.
In this kind of place? Of course I wasn’t supposed to come here. That’s why I told you I skipped work.
I already told you not to scream!
That’s right. I abandoned that live concert and came here.
Why are you panicking?
Don’t make me repeat myself, it’s not okay but I still want to be here. It’s got nothing to do with you.

[02:00]
Just drop it and let me see the guidebook. The sun’s already setting! At this rate, we’ll be camping outside here.
Huh?
Ah…that car…It’s bad. It’s my manager!
Eh? Why? I even changed my location after I turned off my cellphone. Come here! This way! We’re leaving this place.
Run to that forest. Hurry up!

Huh? We can’t get lost in a sight-seeing area, can we?
I can’t go on with these feelings. It’s impossible. Nothing can be done anymore. I can’t sing like this! I can’t! It’s better to just disappear without singing than to disappoint with my singing–

*loud noises*
Uh! It’s a cliff! Look out!

[03:15]
Damn…ouch…
Ah…hey, are you okay?
You’re not hurt? Is that so? Yeah, me too.
I hurt my bottom a bit at the end though.
We fell quite a bit.
Ah…it seems we were really lucky.
If I wanted to climb up from here i think I can but…No, it’s impossible for you.
Well, even if we go back now, I’ll only get caught.

[04:00]
If we go down that way we’ll get somewhere for sure.
Ah..I’m sorry. My bad. But I didn’t know at all it’s something like a cliff here! You’re not hurt, aren’t you? Though I hurt my bottom.
Ah, I can at least carry your stuff.
Is this all?
Jeez, I’m Mike. By now, there are ten thousand fans in the concert hall waiti— *cough*

What’s with that expression? why don’t you worry about yourself instead of thinking of others? Do you understand that you’re all alone with a guy in this deserted mountain or forest or whatever?

[05;00]
Hey. You just laughed, didn’t you? No, you did!
You know, I don’t care what happens to me anymore. I don’t care, whatever. It’s possible that the photos they took earlier are already being spread around. With a title like “Mike abandons his live concert for a trip with his girlfriend” or something. I tried to disguise myself in some way, but I can’t convince them it’s not me when they took photos from such a point blank distance. It doesn’t matter what I was actually doing. because it’s the truth I ditched the live performance and I’m with a woman. I can’t evade them when they even have pictures. If that’s so…I have to do my thing, right? Society won’t believe me if I tell them nothing happened, and it will be no excuse.

[06:03]
I’m at the edge of the cliff anyway. The only thing that’s left is to fall straight down…right?
I’m really sorry for you, you know? But I didn’t pressure you to come here at all. It’s your responsibility that you’re here now. I won’t let you say that it didn’t even cross your mind something like this could happen.
Hmph. Weren’t you actually hoping for this? Your friend was taken away by her boyfriend and you ended up alone.
Thta’s why you tried to be nice to me. Am I wrong?

*slap*
Ouch! You!!
*sigh* this is so stupid. It was a joke, just a joke.
Who would’ve attacked some girl like you? There are a lot of women who’d be happy even if I just spoke to them. There are many who come on to me by themselves, I don’t even need to do anything troublesome. That’s why calm down. I said I’m sorry! Don’t cry, I won’t do it anymore!
Ah-ah, this is the worst.
It’s the first time in my life a woman hit me. I want to cry.

 

Track 06 – The Lost Two

It’s strange…it should be about time we got out somewhere, but…
Are your feet okay? they’re not? Of course…those aren’t shoes you’d use in this kind of place. Should we rest for a bit?
I’ll put your thing here.
You don’t need to stay so far away from me. I won’t do anything anymore. Well, of course it’s my fault that it’s come to this, but…
Don’t blame everything on me!
Forget what happened earlier. I don’t believe that it’s your responsibility you’re here. It’s 100% my fault. I know that. It’s my fault I involved you in this and I’m trying to mess my own life up. It’s about time I released you.
I guess it’s starting…
Yeah, the concert.
Go there now? heh. If we run at light speed we might make it. though it’s impossible to go when we’re in the mountains. Even if we got there, I wouldn’t be able to sing anyway. It’s useless to think about it.
It’s not like I’m sick or something. It’s a problem of feelings. I thought I could do something until yesterday, but I felt it’s impossible when I woke up. No matter what I did, I thought I couldn’t sing. My mind was all blank and the music was all gone. Even if I looked at the sheet music, tried my guitar or played my own songs on CD, it seemed like someone else’s song. It wouldn’t go inside my heart at all. I know by heart both the lyrics and the melody, but I couldn’t believe it was my song when I tried to hum it.

[02:20]
The more I tried to sing, the more it seemed like it’s not my singing and I felt as if I was getting farther away from myself.
Heh…it’s okay. No one gets it anyway.
I wonder when it started…I’ve always wondered why I’m making songs. Even so, I still continued doing it. I thought that if I continued, I’ll find the answer some day. But I guess the price for doing something halfway arrived. The price for deceiving myself and the people around me.
Heheh, no…I was thinking that it’s good you’re not my fan. I’d feel pretty bad if you were disillusioned right in front of me. I think we should go soon. It’ll really be bad if we don’t find the road before it gets completely dark.

[03:30]
I can’t believe we got lost in such an important sight-seeing area.
Here, hold my hand.
Ah, it’s okay. Hold on to me. your legs hurt, don’t they?
Can you walk? You can lean on me more.
I’m sorry for making you push yourself.
I can’t go down this place holding you, so…
No, it’s not that you’re heavy…
You still worry about that kind of thing in this situation…Girls are tough in a way.

Hey, I’ve been wondering…why aren’t you using your cell phone? If I were in your place I’d…um, probably call the police. There are methods, right?
Uh, of course that would trouble me, but if you’d do that I could leave you and run away alone. Sorry.
I wouldn’t want it to become a matter for the police, though…Then I’d really have no place to run away to, so to say.
I’m also wondering what I’m saying so late in the game. I ran away voluntarily and now I’m trying to find other ways out. Doesn’t it makes you sick?

[05:04]
stay with me until the end? Even if you do, you’ll get nothing out of it. Mike is over already. When tomorrow comes, it’ll be already…
Ah, right…I met you as Ogawa Atsushi. I’m just me and not Mike or anything else, huh? I forgot that identity of mine…There was not a moment I haven’t been Mike after my debut either way.
I seem more adultish on television? Is that so? Then maybe I’m just ogawa Atsushi now.
Eh? Well, I said I’ll walk you to your lodging but…is it okay?
Yeah…a promise is a promise. I got it. Then I’ll have you stay with me until we get there.
You…really are kind. I wouldn’t be flattering you at such a time.
Ah…have I been talking too much? I can’t seem to calm down if I don’t say something. I’ve been thinking while walking and speaking…about the dimension of what I’m about to lose now…
Regret,huh…? Yeah…it would be a lie if I said I don’t have any regrets, but I can’t say I have any either. Because I still think I can’t sing. With the way my feelings are right now, today’s live would have been a mess. My mind’s still blank and I can’t remember how I used to sing.
I believed that I was doing my best. Maybe it wasn’t enough. Maybe I should have done my best more seriously, more determined…I didn’t have any intention to cut corners, but I wonder what wasn’t good enough.
I…why…why did I come to this?

[08:00]
I kept releasing hit songs after my debut, and every time I released a new song it got in the single chart…my songs were often used in commercials dramas…it seemed like there was no Japanese who didn’t know the name Mike.
I also thought I was great at the beginning. I was being conceited both in the good and the bad way.
But lately I began to be so confused…I became like a machine that only made songs and sang them just like it was being told.
At the beginning I just liked it. Both composing and singing. I got in the industry at 14 and lived my life after that surrounded by adults. Those around me didn’t treat me like a child and I tried to act like an adult like they wanted me to, but…I kept trying to be who I wasn’t and that became the ordinary. That’s why I thought that complaining is something I definitely shouldn’t do.
I thought that if they found me a bother and if they thought I was useless, that would be the end…but…I eventually realized that only liking doing what I do isn’t enough to keep me walking forward.
I couldn’t catch up with various things, they didn’t go as I wanted them to, and I think that I also found blame in the others.
If you think about that, I’ve already been causing problems, haven’t I? It’s not that I didn’t cause problems because I tried so much not to…actually…I should have been honest. I swung everybody around and caused them so much trouble and in the end I betrayed them like this. “I did my best but I still couldn’t do it” is just a stupid excuse to make myself feel better.

[10:05]
E…aa…I’m sorry. Does your hand hurt? Since when have I been gripping it so tightly…It’s become white. Don’t hold the pain in and tell me!
Ah…no…well…ah…
I’m sorry. Not just for now, but from the beginning…including just now…
Ah…it’s no good. I’m a mess. Really, what am I doing? I’ve only been showing me my pathetic side. You’re surely disillusioned even if you’re not my fan.
“Onee-chan”? What is it, suddenly acting like the older one? But that’s right. Having someone accept your pathetic rambling is…really nice…But that can’t be done unless you accept the fact that you’re weak, right?
I’m really not good at that stuff. My strange pride is in the way…
It would have been good if I could have been more honest like this.

[11:36]
If I did, I wouldn’t have sort of exploded like this and betrayed everyone.
Wa…eh? What’s that? Isn’t it my cell phone? Why do you have it?
Huh? It’s turned on…or isn’t it connected?!
Ah… Hello?
My manager? What are you doing?
You’ll come get me right away…huh? Huh?!
Ah,no! I hung up unconsciously…Wait…eh? What do you mean?
Since when was this turned on? Plus, the call was connected.
Or rather, why do you have my cell phone?
Ah…from when we fell…I see…it got turned on then…
But why was the call connected? If it rang, why didn’t you tell me…
Wait…what does “just now” mean?
Then that means he heard almost everything I said, doesn’t it? You know…!
Huh? Go to the live concert hall? What are you saying?
But we won’t make it in time already. The curtain raises in an hour. no matter how fast we go, it’ll take two hours from here.
Oh…if my manager’s coming here, I have to run away…!

No..but!
But it won’t resolve anything even if I rack my brain and complain about it now. I understand that. I understood it even if you didn’t say it.
Even if my mind’s all white and I can’t sing, I only have singing after all, so… if I run away from that I’ll never be able to come back to it.
That’s because what people do so naturally, I don’t.

[13:47]
I also stopped going to school properly in the middle and I only barely graduated high school. I didn’t do anything like have fun ordinarily or fall in love.
That’s why there’s no meaning if I lose my singing. The reason for my existence… If I can’t sing, I’m only…I’m just…below human…
I knew…I knew,but I was afraid. I only have singing, but if that was denied of me…if I was taken the only thing I had…how was I supposed to continue living from then on?
I don’t even think that I have been living by myself until now and I’m aware that I’ve been helped by a lot of people, but I’m the only one who stands on stage.
No one will help me there.
Yeah…even so…yeah…That’s why I shouldn’t run away, right?
Because that’s the only way…If that’s the only way…
I should grab hold of that no matter what I do.
If no one’s going to help me, I have to do something by myself.
I knew…I knew that if I only have my singing I have to do something about it with singing.

[15:36]
*car honk*
The sound of a car?
What…so we were close to the road…
I wonder if it’s my manager…maybe he came to get me…
I got my phone from my office. It’s usually a normal cell phone, but if I turn it off it’s set up to send a notice to my office.
Heh.They’re really overprotective, aren’t they? I must seem very unreliable.
Yeah…everyone is worried about me. Heh…I can’t make it to my live concert if I leave now…
I’ll probably still be taken there though. He’ll tell me to see with my own eyes what’s the outcome when I run away. My manager is pretty strict about those things.
But he doesn’t abandon me and even searches for me and takes me back. He’s been taking care of me since I was a brat and made my debut. I feel thankful. Though there are many times when I think he’s annoying.
Ah, I’ve been heard complaining, so I’m not scared of anything anymore!
I lied…I’m scared after all…to go back…
Hey…can I ask you something?
“Bring it on!”, you say? What a reliable Onee-chan you are.
You see…could you hold my hand? or something…heh
Thanks.

[17:48]
It’s so quiet.
The calm before a storm…maybe?
Yeah…I’m okay already. Leave it at that.
I showed you a lot of my pathetic sides, so I want to act cool at least at the end, wouldn’t you think?
Thank you for today!
I’m glad the one I called out to was you.
Maybe it’s only trouble for you, but…I’m glad I met you.
I won’t run away again. I vow on these hands.
Hey..so…I wish this wasn’t the end…would you meet me again like this? I want to talk to you again.
Not as the singer songwriter Mike, but as Ogawa Atsushi.

Really? then it’s a promise!
Eh..heh…heheh…I’m so happy…
I feel like I can do my best now!

 

 

Track 07 – The real self introduction

It’s over! Did you listen?
I sang properly!
After looking at everyone’s faces I could sing naturally.
Even though my mind had been blank, my singing overflowed like a flood of sound…I didn’t feel at all as if I was pushing myself or doing my best…I could sing like it was obvious!
It’s more than just being deeply moved! It’s amazing!
Look! My body’s still trembling!
Ah…I’m sorry…I did it without realizing…
Did it hurt?
I was a whole hour late…and everyone waited for me…
Everyone believes in me. The waited for me. Both my fans and the staff. That’s why I showed them my current absolute best. I only have singing so I wanted to both thank them and apologize to them through my music.
Of course, there are people who got mad and went home, and I did cause trouble for everyone. It may sound weird if I say I’m trying to compensate for it, but I want to do something and fill up the whole I dug up from now on.
It will benefit no one if I only apologized, so I’ll atone for it with my music, I will regain their trust and I’m going to have them feel various deep emotions!
It seems that the scoop pictures aren’t circulating either. It seems I was really lucky!
Ah! I have to do my best from tomorrow on as well!
Ah…so…um…would you hold my hand again?
Ah…I got to meet you again. I’m joking…
This hand of yours gave me strength. I’m not exaggerating at all. You gripped my hand tightly the whole way here, right?
Well, I also didn’t let go though.
I felt as if I wouldn’t be able to meet you again if I let go.

[02:42]
I only know your name,and I don’t know your contact adress or where you came from and what job you have. When I thought I might never see you again, I couldn’t let go of your hand.
Inside the car, I kept thinking about going back to the concert hall and about you approximately the same…no, maybe I was only thinking about you. I said I only have music, but it seems that’s not the case anymore.
I now have music and this hand of yours.
Hey, tell me about you. You know a bit about me now, right? I’m Ogawa Atsushi, 21 years old, and I’m sometimes Mike.
Ah, that’s right, you don’t know much about me as Mike.
What you knew is my name and one song or something, right?
That doesn’t count as “knowing” me.
I have a lot of songs I want you to listen to. Both the songs that I composed until now and the ones that I will from now on. Ah, somehow I feel as if I could write a new song right now.
How strange, right? Up until now I’ve been running around trying to distance myself from music but now music is so dear to me.
And…you’re also dear to me…

[04:21]
I’m sorry for saying this out of the blue. But I’m really not just going with the wave!
Maybe you’ve been feeling as if you were an older sister to me, but I don’t feel the same. If you think of me as a younger brother, I wish you would change your way of thinking right now and see me as a man.
I…did a lot of bad things to you today and I think I’ve also swung you around pretty much. I ruined your long awaited trip as well. Even so you listened to me seriously and patiently, scolded me and stayed with me until the end. If even one of those hadn’t happened, maybe I wouldn’t be here like this now.
Maybe I would have been still running away now and with one wrong step maybe I would have been handed over to the police. If it weren’t you who were by my side, I wouldn’t be here now. Maybe I wouldn’t have remembered how much I like singing. You helped me remember. That’s why it’s definitely not an exaggeration!

By chance…?
That may be right…chance..luck…destiny…maybe things like these had a part in everything. But you know…
Including all those, I’m happy that you’re here with me now. Thank you for being there then, and for staying with me.

[06:42]
I wont waver anymore.
That’s why…if possible I want you to stay close to me and watch over my change. And I want you to get to know me bit by bit. Mike and Atsushi…the both of me…
It’s okay? Really? Haha! Yes!
Then…first maybe I’ll have you listen to one song…I have a special love song.

“The live concert just ended”? That doesn’t matter. Even if I were on the verge of death, I could sing for you. Now I really feel that!
Would you listen? I’ll sing only for you.
Someday I’ll compose a song just for you. Look forward to it.
Then, you are Ogawa Atsushi’s number one fan. The only one in the world!

 

 

Track 08 – Ogawa Atsushi’s “music”

Yes, now I have my hands full with my next album. I have so many ideas that I can’t do anything about it, you see. I’m having trouble keeping it at only one.
The next album’s theme is “love”.
I’ve composed many love songs until now but this time they have a new feelin—

Hey!
You’re pretty brave to have your attention caught by other men in my own room. We’re not the same. That’s Mike, isn’t it? Your Atsushi is here.
*kiss*
I finally got a day off! Keep me company and let me be selfish sometimes! Huh? So you’re saying that?
I don’t think I’ve been that selfish with you though. I don’t know about Mike, though. But that’s his image and all.
Well, yeah. If I said i was acting him, that would be pretty much it.
Of course that both are me but when I get into work mode Mike’s switch gets pushed on and we trade places just like that.
When I look at him, I think that “Huh, Mike’s speaking”, like it’s not my business as well.

[01:25]
Well then!
What should we do today?
It’s the first time since I met you that I got a full day off! I have to use it wisely!
Yeah…it sound nice to go out together with you, but I’d wish to spend my whole day off leisurely with you, doing nothing. It’s a break, after all. Those kinds of moments are more precious to me as well.
Since I met you, I started having a clear distinction between by on and off times. When you’re not around, I’m in work mode, when you’re with me I’m in off mode. Or something?
It’s simple? But it’s really like that.
I think that I exploded like that because I’m so bad at that kind of thing.
From the day of the live concert I have been earnestly doing my best but I began thinking how much I like singing almost everyday. I’m glad I realized that. I’m glad I didn’t end everything like that. I’m really glad I met you.
So you’re praising me!
Yeah. If I have this, I don’t need anything. No matter how hard it is, I can do my best for you. It’s really something very happy to be able to do your best for someone else and not for yourself.

[03:05]
Ah, I was thinking of keeping this until the end of today, but I changed my mind.
Hey, do you remember that I said I’d compose a song for you? Actually, I’ve already made it. Are you surprised?
Haha, that’s a big success.
Do you want to hear it that much? What should I do…
I’m joking! I’ll gladly sing it for you! This song is just for you after all.
Of course, I won’t make it public.
Heh, it’s not a waste at all.
Being able to spend time doing something for you is what I find to be luxury right now.
I thought if I should use your name the title, but I made into a song something as important as you are…

Then, would you listen?

 

Track 09 – The price he has to pay

*footsteps*

He’s here.
You…you’re the cameraman from before! Why are you here?
Cameraman: – It’s all your fault! Because of you!!
Atsushi: – He’s acting strange. Stay behind me.
*screams etc*
Atsushi: – You have a knife!
Cameraman: – That was my last chance! But you!!
Atsushi: – Stupid! Stop it!

What are you doing?
Are you okay? Are you hurt…
Wait…w-what is this… why is there blood…
Hey! No! Hey, get a grip of yourself!
Damn! Why did this…

*cameraman screams*
Cameraman: – Arrgh!
Atsushi: – Stop it already! This girl has nothing to do with it!
Do you realize what you have done? This…
Cameraman: – It’s your fault! Your fault!
Atsushi: – Cut it out! Get out of the way! If I don’t hurry up, she will…
You!
*fighting*screams*

Hey, are you okay? you’re bleeding…
What? What did you say? “I’m okay”? Of course you’re not! You’re bleeding so much…
I’ll call for an ambulance right now, so bear with it…
I’ll definitely save you!
No way… Open your eyes…Why…why does this have to happen to you…Why did it get like this…?
*steps*
It’s my…fault…?
No…No! No! AAAAA!!!

———————————————————
*1* Onee-san means older sister. It can refer to one’s own older sister or to a lady older than you with no blood relations whatsoever. Here is the latter.
*2* Ooakudani. (lit. “Great Boiling Valley”) is a volcanic valley with active sulphur vents and hot springs in Hakone, Kanagawa Prefecture, Japan. It is a popular tourist site for its scenic views, volcanic activity, and especially, Kuro-tamago. (from wikipedia)
*3* He’s talking about the Mandrake
If you search for pictures you’ll see the human shape, I’m not sure if wikipedia has an ‘accurate’ picture.
*4* Of course you figured it out, but morisoba is some type of food. “chilled soba served on a dish (often on a wicker basket or in a shallow steaming basket) with dipping sauce”.
It looks like noodles on a plate, haha.
*5* wasabi is some type of plant that’s turned into a condiment. You’ll see people frightened to eat it in anime or manga because of its strong taste etc Who knows what it even tastes like.
*6* Sengokuhara is a town district in Hakone. It’s close to Tokyo.

** He says something is bad but I can’t hear what…if I get it I’ll edit this post.
*** Here I don’t know where he says she should enter. Some hiding place, anyway. It’s not something significant and I made sure I didn’t let something important half translated…I think this much doesn’t make a difference.

As a side note, the title of the CD is written differently than it should normally be. Here it’s written as 逃暴者 while the common version is 逃亡者. The difference is the middle kanji.
“toubou” means escape, and “sha” refers to a person who does something (in this case escaping) so I’ll focus a bit on the “toubou” part.
The first kanji “逃” simply means “escape”, “flee” while the second is different.
In the common version “亡” is used, which means “dying” (well I don’t know why they’re used together like this…)
And in this version “暴” is used which means “outburst,rave, violence”.
Well I’m not sure what’s what because I can’t tell you much about kanji but I thought it would be something good to know and maybe you can understand something from this. The main point is that “outburst,violence” is used instead of “dying, deceased” in the word “escaping”. I haven’t listened to all the CDs so I can’t tell you if there’s any connection between them (like none of the boys die or something) but you can observe that yourselves if you want!

Toubousha 05 Atsushi charaAnd a pic with Atsushi from the official site (you can find the page link at the top):

—————
And so I finished translating this. It took me ages lol.
I’l’ WRITE A SPOILER FROM THE LAST TRACK NOW SO DON’T READ IF YOU DON’T WANT TO but I’m so glad that he didn’t die at the end. I liked him so much…I’d have been so sad if something happened to him. Assuming that the listener is yourself, I feel a lot better that “I” died for him rather than the opposite. Of course, I also have a weakness for Sakurai Takahiro which amplified lately so that made me like him even more, but he was actually really cute ehehe
Well, it may be good that they have both good and bad endings so none of them apply absolutely. You can say that both are viable and that you can chose what you want. Of course, I don’t want an ending where he’s sad! ///END SPOILER

6 thoughts on “[TL] Toubousha 05 – Atsushi Side

  1. Thank you for the translation! I’m also a Sakurai fan🙂
    After reading your translation, I like this volume a lot better now! I thought you handled it really well – I really like Ogawa’s dialogue.

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